Going through

We all go through storms in life. Sometimes it feels like we will never get out the rain. But believing in something greater than yourself can get you through. I believe there is a God. I believe in the power of prayer. I have witnessed my own prayers being answered for myself, my family and friends. But when you are going through battles, it is easy to forget to pray. The troubles get so big that you forget there is someone to talk to when no one else will listen. And this someone is constant and unchanging.

I know there are those who don’t believe in God because of all the terrible things that go on in this world and in our lives. But I’m the person who believes that although we go through the worst things in life, we are never alone. When people say, if there is a God why did He let this happen it that happen? My answer is one of two things. Either it is a test to build you up for greater or man-made whatever happen but God is the one who got you through it. Either way, God is in the midst. Babies die, cancer kills, good people die, hurricanes come, etc. There’s no explanation for these things except to know that in the middle of it all, there’s someone who will learn from each tragedy. It doesn’t have to be you because it’s you going through the trial. A new NICU nurse may need to learn how to gently tell a family their baby died. An estranged family is brought together through the loss of someone with cancer. A family member left behind recalls how good their loved one was and strives to be a better person. Or a community leader has to learn to be strong so they’re able to bring their town together after a hurricane hits. You see how you may be the one to lose something or someone but the lesson may not always be yours?

Life is too short to sit around and try to figure out why things happen the way they do. I believe you never question God. I’ve lost so many people. Our toughest year as a family was the tragedy that struck us in 2009. My father died in the hospital under suspicious circumstances with no proof under the care of a hospice doctor who wanted to euthanize him because he was on a ventilator. I know that lesson was for her intern Dr. Law. He knew something wasn’t right. It’s up to him to have learned to be cruel like her, or to stand on his own conviction and respect patients and their rights. That June, my oldest brother died from an accidental overdose. I think that one lesson was for me so I would never slip back into over medicating myself as I did in the past to mask my pain. Also, the lesson was for my siblings so we could come together as my mom had always wanted. Then that December my grandfather died at the age of 92 years old. I think this was a lesson for us all to not fear age and to live our best life to the fullest.

We all grieve in our own way. People say time makes it better but I don’t think it’s the time that comforts your heart. I think it’s God. Somehow after a great loss, we find peace with it. I’m terrible at dealing with death. I often dream of the person. I’ve even seen the person who’s passed and talked to them for days until God brings me peace. Then they disappear. I thought something was wrong with me after seeing and talking to my sister in law, brother and father, so I asked my Pastor about it. He told me that everybody’s mind processes trauma/death differently. God gave me them until I was emotionally ready to let go. Then He gave me peace. Yes, it still hurts even after nine years but holding on to peace and comfort from the Lord will always get me through.

I’m going through a different type of battle these days. I’m struggling with myself to make a really hard decision. Decisions like this are especially hard when you’re dealing with family you’ve loved your whole life. Changing the course of their life lies in my hands. Either I make this decision now, or someone, not family makes it later and worse on them. I’m praying about it and will do what God tells me and not what vengeance requires of me. Biblestudytools.com states Romans 12:19 (ASV) Avenge not yourselves, beloved, but give place unto the wrath [of God]: for it is written, Vengeance belongeth unto me; I will recompense, saith the Lord. I had a friend to remind me last night to stop worrying over this situation and give it to God. So tonight I will go in my mental war room and pray. I hope many of you will do the same when you find yourself going through. Prayer works.

Written by Valerie Furr-Collins

(cc, October 12, 2018)

BTW

My daughter at maybe 2 yrs old and son around 9 months old. They are almost 23 and barely 21 years old respectively now

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