Chapter One….

It’s 1:38 am, here in Alabama as I begin this post. I’m up but everyone else except my son is asleep. Even the dogs are asleep 😂. I’m only up because this sickness had me asleep earlier and now even though my sinuses and head are screaming for rest, I cannot. It’s the Sunday after a very good Thanksgiving at my Aunt and Uncle’s home this year. Now as I sit here watching television, I have an issue on my heart. That’s how my blogs usually begin, with an issue or a topic I have on my heart. I touched on suicide in my last blog but this has more to do with bullying, not unintentional horseplay, but real bullying experienced by our children and us every day.

My family is made up of what I used to call the serious side, my dad’s side, and the fun side, my mom’s side. I didn’t grow up with any of my mother’s family in my life and I always regretted that. They are such free spirits who bond through family, memories, and humor. I only grew up with family from one of my father’s seven brothers whom I’m still close with now. I wish we had been able to grow up with both sides, but life didn’t happen that way. In 2008, the world of Facebook allowed me to reach out to and get to know much of my family over the past ten years. I’m grateful because I now know that both sides are the fun sides.

In 2007, my Uncle Rodney and my Pops, (mommy’s younger brother and father), moved to Alabama. We had been to visit St. Louis, Mo. so many times that I love it there. We’re always taken care of and accommodated for and if you didn’t know, you will not, St. Louis has the best Chinese food in the country!! But when my Uncle and Poppy moved here, my mom and I were so happy because the dream of having some of her family living here with her came true! Of all eight of my mommy’s brothers, he is the comedian. When tragedy struck my immediate family in 2009, it didn’t go far away. My Uncle met and soon married my wonderful Auntie Catherine. In 2010, she was paralyzed in an awful car accident. She’s a huge part of my heart.

But I digress, I divorced my ex-husband in 2002, when my children were young. I felt like the pain and stress I was enduring was trickling down onto them. My daughter was on her way to the first grade and my son in headstart. My children were (and are) my whole world. I only wanted nothing but their happiness. But, shortly after my daughter’s birth, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition, fibromyalgia. A year after my son’s birth, I began to have seizures. I suffered from depression and chronic migraine headaches as well. In 2001, I was placed on disability by my doctor and my nursing license was marked medically suspended. My babies didn’t seem to notice mommy was sick. I tried my best to be there for every award program, play, Christmas pageant, game, and Thanksgiving lunch. Every field trip that required walking, my brother stepped up and went in my place with my son. If my daughter had something I could attend, my best friends Bridgette, went along with her and her daughter. She’s still my ride or dies. But I feel like I wasn’t able to be there at home for them. We ate dinners in the living room instead of around the table, which always bothered me, plans were often canceled because I was too sick or fatigued to go and I couldn’t play with my kids and have fun with them because I was in pain. My Mommy took up so much of my slack that I’m not sure my children even noticed. But still, I felt like I was there and absent at the same time if that makes sense.

I was angry a lot too, not with my children, with God, doctor’s, and myself for allowing a disease, which at the time not many doctors believed existed, to consume my life and take so much from me. I was so in love with my then, husband. I gave and forgave way too much. By the time I was brave enough to get divorced, I was an empty shell of the woman I once was, void of peace, void of joy, almost in-human on the inside and unrecognizable even to myself…….

(Mock book cover)

Or

Thanksgiving 2018: This year’s message, Get it Together

When thinking about all things I have to be grateful for Thanksgiving, including my Lord and Savior, and my family and friends, one more important thing comes to mind, my mental health. At 45, I’m trying my best to get it together enough so I do not have a midlife crisis. I’m at that age for women, and this year has truly tried me in every way. After last year’s blessings of my first granddaughter and surviving two near-death experiences, this year just began on a bad note. January 2018 through maybe May was riddled with one personal issue after another. Not one relationship worked out. The things men do as children to hurt their girlfriends, well apparently they still do these things as adults. Sometimes it takes me a while to allow myself feel to something for someone else because of this fact. But I digress, it is easy for us to be consumed by personal problems, issues with friendships or even ongoing family issues. Sometimes there is just one more big thing added to all the small ones that become the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak. Well, although my family and I have been through it this year, we know that life itself is an entire blessing.

In my early twenties, like many young people, I’d have a hard time bouncing back from times like these. I thought heavily about suicide twice. What many people don’t realize is that for most, suicide isn’t about being selfish because. In that person’s head, they have worked out everything for everyone in their life. In their state of mind, it all makes complete sense. They aren’t thinking, so much as to why they don’t want to live, but that they will no longer be a burden. I heard a quote once that says, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I feel awful for families and individuals who don’t have a great family or support system in their lives. Thank God that twenty plus years later, I’m still here able to write about it and hope to touch somebody with my words.

I must say that I learned enough about friends this year to carefully select mine from now on. The thing about friends is that they are few, far and in between. If you have more than a handful, you have too many. My dad used to say we don’t have friends; we have acquaintances. I like to think that true friend, like sisters or brother’s to you, know your heart and you theirs. You don’t want to keep unhappy, jealous individuals as your friends because regardless of the years invested, where they’ve taken you together or how good you are to them, they will eventually show you who they are. Not many people deserve the title friend, so be careful who you give it to. Even though losing “friends” can be upsetting, wait it out because God takes people out of your life so He can put His people it. Can I get an Amen?!!

We all get to a point in life when we just think there’s no way we can go on; when things keep piling up one after another to the point where despair can creep in. I went through this too this summer when my baby Zy (whom I raised from 1 1/2 months to 5 1/2 years old) was moved upstate without my knowledge. I hurt like a mother should have because I did everything with and for her as if this little girl had come from my womb. But God! To keep me from losing it, my daughter asked me to come to visit. The beautiful bonus was being able to get to know and bond with my one-year-old granddaughter for two weeks. When upsetting things like this happens, we have to find a way to get it together and then find things that help us to keep it together.

With yet another month left in this year, for me, visiting my daughter, praying, journaling, writing, reading the Bible, and seeking the help of loved ones have been my saving Graces. No one thing cures a broken heart regardless of the cause. It was and still is a constant battle. But there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. People think reaching out is a sign of weakness when the real weakness lies in not doing so. So far through the many losses and heartbreaks of my life, I utilized a few “cures” that worked for me including several hundred good cries, a few thousand of my momma’s talks, a few new circles of friends, and infinite time to reflect on how to work through everything.

Remember that what you are going through, during your “broken camel’s back” moments, will not last forever. There is always something you can do to get you through even if you have to try several at a time, or do them over again. Do what works for you. In fact, just allowing yourself to wake up to a new day can be all the change you need. Then surround yourself with those things and people who will shine the smallest ray of light into your momentary darkness.

Sometimes we lose people so that we can see the difference between those we had in our lives and those we deserve in our lives. I was just happy because people who I needed to value more reached out to me! I found out that they are not only my sisters from other mothers/fathers but my sister’s in life and in Christ. I’m so thankful for them. They always know when I’m down before I say one word, even on Facebook, which I’m always on. They are always there for me and I love returning the favor. We don’t judge each other or bring one another down. We talk and really listen to one another. Sometimes all people need to get it together when life seems to fall apart, is someone that will be there whether they are needed or not. It used to bother me that people looked at the surface and judged me without getting to know me for me. But thank God for growth!! Now I know the only ones who matter are those who choose to see and know my heart from the beginning without me having to do something for the exchange. I’m glad to say that I know their hearts too. Therefore, I’m thankful this year to have made it to 45 years old, be invested in sisterhoods, not friendships, and thank you, Jesus, although I’ll still go through hard times, I’ve finally gotten it together ❤️God is good!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Special thanks to my small circle: if I leave out your name please forgive me.

My Mommy Sandra Furr

My big sister Beverly Furr

My children Brittney Essex and Trey Collins and granddaughter Avianna Essex

My family

My Sis Bridgette Hargrove

My Sissy and twin Consuela Romero

My Sis Kawanda Bush Pace

My Sis Katrina Benson

All my family and friends

Thank you to my children for being my constant rays of sunshine in my life and thank you, Mommy,, Beverly, family, and ladies for all you do in my life!! I love Y’all!

Until We Meet Again #death #finalgoodbyes #Arthur’s_story

I’ve always hated how final death is; how you can’t change it at all! I hate feeling helpless and unable to do anything about losing someone. The year 2009 was the worst year my family ever endured. We thought we had been through enough tragedy in our lives. There would be no way God would let the year play out the way it did. It was this year that made me see that God isn’t the one who causes death but He is the one who gets you through it. He is the reason that nine years later I’m still living and although I’m missing people, I’m still here.

You see, I’ll have to begin with what happened to my dad in order to completely tell this story. In November 1992, my father had another of many surgeries. This neck surgery was supposed to help relieve neck, back pain, and headaches. Only three days later, he was ‘accidentally’ given an extra dose of morphine by a nurse who was supposed to discontinue It because medicine was causing him to hallucinate. He took something for his stomach and couldn’t feel it in his throat and subsequently choked, went 15 minutes without oxygen, and ended up in a coma. A month later, his doctors said he was in a vegetative state and would never regain consciousness. His diagnosis, permanent anoxic brain damage.

But my father responded to us in ways no doctor could tell us wasn’t there. He knew my mother’s voice, the voice of all his children, and the voice of his long-term sitter, Jackie. He stayed connected with us and fought to live for 16 1/2 years. He died in the arms of my oldest brother, his namesake, Arthur Furr, Jr., in ICU room 115, on the morning of his 68th birthday.

The mistake we made was putting him in the care of a hospice doctor who tried to make us kill my dad with a lethal cocktail. But we believed that we would not take the place of God. He would call him home when it was his time. I won’t tell what we believe happened, but you can read between the lines if you wish. We have no solid proof just the cover-up, I mean, miscommunication of her interns that let us know something wasn’t right.

Ok, so we said goodbye to my father with a military burial, the military salute with the guns, and the presentation of the flag. That was the hardest part for me and I know for my Mom. Thank God for my brother-in-law, who was in the military. He had everything set up for us. I wrote my father’s obituary for the paper and the service. I was honored.

The toll Daddy’s death took on my big brother, along with a separation from his wife, became more than he could handle. I can imagine him seeing Daddy’s last moments over and over again in his mind. As I’ve mentioned before in my blog contained my poem A Friendship With Addiction, Art Jr. already had an issue with prescription medication.

But at the time, we didn’t know that he was experiencing Ambien syndrome as well. Ambien Syndrome has a long spectrum. Some people sleepwalk, sleep eat or buy things they have no recollection of the next day. In my brother’s case, he would drive somewhere in my car and park it on the opposite side of the carport. We had no idea why it would not be parked where I put it. Also, his case of Ambien syndrome mimicked his behavior when he would overdose. We called ambulances so many times for him and they would treat him like he OD’d. I was really afraid of him.

Three months after my Daddy’s death, I loaned my vehicle to my sister, some brother had a migraine. He decided to walk to Walmart for Excedrin migraine tablets. I don’t know why he just didn’t go to the gas station up the street or the Walgreens across the street from it. He did make it to Walmart. But instead of him walking back in the door in the wee hours of June 19, 2009, a man with the word, homicide stitched on his shirt and the police did. They sat my mom down at the kitchen table and told us that, on his way home, he collapsed two blocks from our home and died in a strangers driveway. They had already taken him to Montgomery for an autopsy by the time we received the news. We didn’t see him until the viewing six days later.

I supposed you’re wondering what the autopsy stated. The doctor who did the autopsy was so kind to me and even sent me a paper copy of it. It stated that he had pulmonary edema, cardiac myopathy, and severe hydrocephalus. In layman’s terms, his respiratory system couldn’t take the overload of several medications and he went into respiratory failure and cardiac arrest which caused his brain, lungs, and heart to fill with fluid. By the time the ambulance arrived there was nothing they could do.

The autopsy concluded he died of an accidental overdose. He took his medicine a few hours before he left but had forgotten and accidentally took it again too soon. He wasn’t trying to kill himself. He was trying to get back home so he could go the next morning to Bradford! He was like that! He was determined to get the help he needed this time! But it was too late.

I’m telling this story to shed light on the harms of mixing prescription medications and over the counter meds for a pronged period of time. Eventually, as I tried many times to tell him, the body’s respiratory and central nervous systems will fail to recover. People need to know that accidental overdoses are sometimes the result of a combination of none prescription drugs such as Benedryl taken with depression and pain meds such as Amitriptyline, Phenergan, and Lortab. This lethal mixture took his life. We would beg his doctors to deny him pain medication but they refused our constant requests. His mom and pop shop pharmacist refused our constant requests to refuse to fill his prescriptions. But I find a little comfort in the closing of that pharmacy after my brother died.

This whole year, have been so hard! November 15th would have been his 52nd birthday. For some reason, I feel so much sadness and heartache. Sometimes I barely get through that day. Last night, I thought it may help to talk to my mom about it but I broke down crying. Actually, I have been crying all week but she doesn’t need to see that. I want nothing but peace, love, and happiness for the rest of her life. I can’t imagine me causing her any heartache after these two devastating blows! But unfortunately, death wasn’t finished with us.

On December 22, 2009, just five months later, my mom’s father, Luther Clemons, Sr., passed away from the devastating effects of Dementia. His death was easier to take only because he was 92 years old and had lived a long, amazing life. He was lovingly cared for till the end by my mom first, then my Auntie and Uncle. I think we were being tested as to our faith and strength as a family. But we got through it.

Life is a system of cycles, tests, trials, tribulations, victories, and successes. It’s up to you to hold on to your faith and choose how to get through each one. Luckily we had a great church support system with a great Pastor who took my brother under his wing, saving his soul. We had an awesome group of family and friends who constantly checked up on us. And then there’s the one thing people say will cure the sadness, we have had time, ten years.

I don’t think time makes it better, especially when you lose three generations in one year, have to fight in court to keep your brother’s kids he was raising, and raising other five children. They were dealing with these deaths in their own way. Time didn’t heal these wounds. Time only changed the distance between those yesterdays and today. I’m going to put this to rest and hopefully, the sadness and pressure in my chest and migraine will go away. I know there’s nothing I can do to change it, so I have to let it go and ask God for strength right now.

A friend/sister of mine and I were talking tonight and she said that she likes knowing that she will see those who passed away again. From time to time, I wonder if that’s true. Then I remember the sky, the trees, the sun and the Moon, and how good God has been to me and my family. I recall the things I’ve prayed for and received from the rain to stop so I could get home safely to protection over my family. I know there is a God. So I pray this morning for all of us who were left behind to continue to live and find peace, acceptance, grace, and mercy. In Jesus name. Amen.

P.S. My big brother died two days before Father’s Day. He was blessed with nine children. He lived to see one of his six beautiful grandchildren.

Continue to Rest in Heaven big Bro! I love and miss you!!

Motherhood: What does your child/children think of you as a mother-Part 2

Well, it’s been three days since I asked my beautiful daughter and handsome son what do they think of me as their mother. I copied and pasted their answers below:

My daughter’s response:

😐 why’d you asked that? You’re a wonderful mother

And my son’s response:

You’re a great mom

My babies are all grown up but I still see them as always my babies. I love them so very much. They both are young people of very few words as you can see. I know they get that from their dad because also as you can see I am one of many words.

I actually didn’t know what to expect but then I did in a way. Have you ever felt like that when asking a touchy question? I hoped for a positive comment but thought what if the answer started off with, “If you want me to be honest, mom”. I think I would’ve cried. But my heart became so full over their answers because I know them. I know the only time Brittney talks excessively is when she’s experienced doing something she loves, like talking about her daughter. Trey does so when he’s expressing something that has upset him badly. Any other time the few words mean everything ok and that’s just fine with me.

In the video I spoke about that my niece put on Facebook, the young children made their moms feel just like my kids made me feel. That is special and amazing. I suggest any mom’s who read this blog shoot their kids a text asking what do they think of them as a mom. See what they think of you. I guarantee it will make your whole day!!

This is important to me because I want to be for my kids what and who my mother is for me. She is the biggest part of my heart. I have so much respect and love for her that when I think about it, I get overwhelmed with emotion. I know it’s way too early for a Mother’s Day blog so I’ll just say this. If I am a third of the beautiful mother my mom has been to me, I really got something great right in this world!

My children may not see it now, but they’re so blessed to have both of us in their lives. All my grandparents passed away before I was born except my grandfather, my mom’s dad. We got the pleasure to get to know him later in his life. He walked me down the aisle at my wedding. He was such a character. I really miss him.

My kids will one day say that about my mom. Then they’ll realize just how blessed they were. My hope is that they realize this sooner rather than later, and help me take care of her in her golden years. Maybe one day their children will help care for me in my golden years. Only God knows. For now, I’m just going to think back on their words every time I get to missing my daughter or think I’m not doing enough for my son. I’ll cherish those few words of gargantuan meaning forever!

Motherhood: What does your child/children think of you as a mother?

Yesterday, my niece LaShontae Furr, reposted a touching video on FaceBook about how mothers see themselves versus how their children see them. I told her that I may write about it. I found the outcome very interesting. The mothers saw themselves in mostly a negative light but their children only saw the good in them. Isn’t that amazing? Their thoughts were exact opposites. It was joyful to see the mothers through their children’s eyes. If only we could automatically know what our babies thought of us, I believe we would be the best version of ourselves. The mothers in this video saw that they were the light in their kid’s eyes and also saw where they could improve.

Personally, I’ve always thought I had many shortcomings as a mother. I have asked my children before if I am a good mother to them and they’ve always said yes. I still wonder what they really think. So I’ve asked them both in a text to tell me what they think of my mothering. I’m awaiting their responses right now.

I believe I wasn’t the best mother because I was sick when my children were small. I also allowed that sickness to completely take over my life and get me down. I spent a lot of time in bed. But I don’t believe I ever missed a school program for either one or my niece and nephew. When a field trip called for a lot of walking, I sent my brother to my place so my child would not miss out on a field trip. I think while my son was in grade school and my daughter in Middle School, I missed spending the time I should’ve spent with them. Although my mom was there to pick up my slack, I think they wanted their mother to be there too. I feel horrible about that because I can’t get that time back. My son was going through being bullied and hid it from me for a long time. It doesn’t make me feel better because I took care of it when I found out because he felt like he couldn’t come to me. I often wonder what else did my kids go through that they felt like they couldn’t come to me about. Those were the hardest years.

I regret a lot even though I know this illness was the cause like being asleep as my children went to school in the morning, never eating dinner together at the kitchen, not taking them places kids want to go, canceling our plans at the last minute because I was too sick to go, and missing special moments I can never get back. Now that they are young adults, and I am better, I try my best to be here for them whatever they may need. If I have it, it is theirs. So mom’s, if you are able, do all you can with your babies while they are young. Believe me when I say this will happen; you’ll look up one day and they be celebrating their sweet sixteen and you’ll wonder where did the time go.

My home is empty of children now (my daughter is almost 23 and my son is twenty-one) and for a mother like me, who loves her children more than life itself, that is so hard to accept. I’m keeping busy with this blog, a writer from home job I recently was hired for, my crochet business, writing two books and getting better at my makeup game. You see how many things I have to do to remain sane without my babies to take care of? Lol! They are my life, my heart, my world and I will be here for them forever. In fact, I’m doing this for them. I want them to benefit from the books I sell and the job I have. I still want to give them the world. I suppose that need will never go away!

As I complete this portion of this article, and I await the responses of my kids, I must admit I am a little nervous about what their answers will be. Will they think I was overbearing, smothering, not there, or hard to love? I hope not! Lol. I will write a follow-up to this article detailing their thoughts compared to mine. I know that I cherish my mother. She is my heart as well. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I look at her as a mother and see no wrong. She is the best mother God could’ve given me. She’s done so much for me that I will forever be grateful! Perhaps, my two children will think something similar to me. We shall see.

Sibling Love #Timothy

Timothy, My Brother

You’re my brother
And I truly love you
I may not always show it
but please know I do

I’ll always be here
for whatever you need
Please don’t ever feel
you can’t count to me

God put us together
as sister and brother
When it comes to you
I don’t want any other

We had our difference
as our lives went on
We even once grew apart
But we still had our bond

Although we’re all grown up
l know I will never forget
How the good and bad times
strengthened our relationship

Like when we were kids, my brother
I want to hug you and say
You have a place in my heart
today, tomorrow and always

Written by Valerie Furr-Collins
© November 5, 2018

Birthday Wishes

This past Halloween 2018 was my 45th birthday. I am so proud of the woman I’ve become over the past year. In January 2017, at 206 pounds, I was passing out, losing my breath, having asthma attacks and several other symptoms. I began a self-proclaimed weight loss journey. By March, I was down 14 pounds with just changing my eating habits. In May, I was seen by a pain specialist who ran a battery of tests. I found out I was very sick. Among the worst of the results were that my liver enzymes were off, my cholesterol was high, my kidneys had begun shutting down and I was diabetic. I was told if I didn’t change my lifestyle completely and began taking shots for diabetes, I wouldn’t be around very long. I even ended up in the hospital.

My daughter and her husband were to have their first child, my granddaughter, in September 2017. I needed to get stable enough to fly before then. I wanted to live but there were so many things wrong with me. I decided it was time to stop settling, get myself together, lose the weight and get back healthy. By the time I went to Hawaii, in August form granddaughters birth, I was down 30 pounds. I was so proud of myself. But I was still passing out. Shortly after returning home, one night, I became breathless, dizzy, faint and felt as if life was slipping away from me. I was rushed to the ER. When I woke up completely I had been admitted. The doctor told me if I had not come to the ER that night I would’ve died in my sleep. My diagnosis was that I was being over medicated. I was still taking enough meds for a 206pound woman instead of someone who weighed 160 pounds. The excess of the depression and fibromyalgia medications nearly killed me. I thank God for his mercy and grace. Regardless, I ended up having a great birthday that year.

Here it is a year later! My birthday surpassed last years because I’m healthy, happy, in less pain overall and I’m down to 140 pounds. I never thought I would ever be this small again. Also, I am writing again after years of writer’s block. After such a hellish time this year, I’m finally finding peace. I had to stop spending my time wanting people to see me for who I really am. Either they do or they don’t. I refuse to care anymore. I learned that only true friends see you for who you really are because but they know your heart. Plus, I had to stop trying to make peace and be Mrs. Fix it. I can only fix myself and pray others to do the same. I learned to get worrisome things off my chest in prayer and in poetry, then I let them go. No more holding on to things. This 45th birthday I am blessed with a lot of clarity into my life.

I realize at my wonderful age that settling is not an option. I know I deserve the best. Still, God’s word says He won’t give you more than you can bear, but He never said you won’t give it to yourself. I had to stop taking on other troubles, guilt, and burdens. It bothered me when those I love were in turmoil. But I cannot take care of everyone without caring for myself first. I’m very easy to love but if you choose not to, it won’t take my love from you, but it will take away my time. Like Tyler Perry’s character, MaDear said, I had to learn to let folks go!

Life’s too short to hold grudges or worry over burned bridges when you have everything you need to build new ones. Spend life loving those who love you, taking time out to know those that take time out to know you. When it comes to relationships, remember that nobody is perfect. But if you find yourself compromising your integrity, respect or happiness it’s not meant to be. Never put up with someone if they are constantly comparing you to others or they are convinced that you are something or someone that you know you are not. Red flags! This year’s relationships have taught me to pay attention to and heed red flags!

Lastly, my only birthday wish was for my family to just get through the day happy without feeling the heavy losses we’ve taken this year. God granted that wish by lightening the heaviness in our hearts. He placed the truth in our path and it made such a huge difference. I spent the day with my family. I don’t think I’ve ever had ‘Happy Birthday’ sung to me so many times. All the calls, texts and posts made my day. As a crafter, a donation of crochet supplies was brought to me early in the day by a great friend!! Thank you, Maria! That evening my daughter video chatted with me so I could see my granddaughter! My wonderful son was here with me. My nephew’s playing around reminded me so much of my late brother (his father) that I felt he was here in spirit. My two big sisters from out of town called to wish me a happy birthday! My beautiful mom was here with me as always. My whole day was perfect!

I’m blessed to have such an amazing group of people to call my family, my sister’s from other mothers and my friends. My life is so good right now and I honestly feel complete. I have some things to work out because like I said, no one is perfect. But with God as the head of my life, I believe these next 45 years will be victorious! I claim it!!

#victorious #Halloweenbirthday #Godsgraceandmercy #birthdaywishes #birthdayblessings #poetry #mypoeticlife #poetrybook #mypoeticlifebook #my_poetic_life_

IG @valmarie_aspiringmua

My yearly birthday Halloween cup!

I made Parmesan, cheddar, lemon pepper shrimp with buttered cheddar biscuits. (Birthday Dinner)

Birthday Day 2 Domino’s Pizza special made for me with parmesan ranch, chicken, bacon, pineapples, black olives, extra cheese

Halloween 2017 CeCe was a witch, Xay was a preacher and Zy was Minnie Mouse

From a size 18-20 to a size 6-8… I’m so proud of me!!