Unlocking Memories

Hopefully, none of my readers have ever had seizures, but if you have you know that they mess with your memory. I’m not sure of the exact year, but a few years after my first seizure in 1998, I began having stress-induced seizures back to back and was admitted to the hospital. During my stay, I was poked, proved and medicated. After discharge, I recalled being thankful that week-long stay was over. Except it hadn’t been a week, not even two weeks. The medication I was given really affected my memory. I had actually been in the hospital for seven weeks.

My doctors told me that I would never regain my memory of that hospital stay or the few years of my life leading up to it. But God. Recently, I have begun to have memories come back as if photos were being shown to me like flashcards in my mind. Or video clips would turn on and off periodically in my head. I get excited when I remember because it proves that God has the last say and that happiness changes the chemical makeup of your brain somehow. I’ve unlocked memories I thought were lost forever.

It was so heartbreaking before when Id look at pictures of my son and daughters birthday parties and not be able to recall taking the pictures or even the events of that day. But God. Some, not all, of my children’s childhood photo memories, have come back to me. I can remember my son’s party at CiCi’s Pizza where he was given a Nintendo DS with Pokemon on the front of it and the Christmas their dad bought them the late great Eddie Guerrero WWE t-shirts. He was Trey’s favorite wrestler. I remember in bits and pieces but Lord knows that is better than not remembering at all.

I have made myself my first priority along with my mom. And I am so much happier for it. Life has been better and good since I stopped allowing others to determined my happiness. Why did it take me so long to cut negativity out of my life?

I believe some memory loss is caused by the seizures and fibromyalgia. I also think (by example) that retrieval of memories has something to do with your clear state of mind. We live hectic lives with issues and worries that can cloud our minds and hearts.

You have the ability to speak life over yourself. To speak positivity into your home and surroundings. Your energy or spirit is controlled by your state of mind. Live a life where you are #1 and where you work on your happiness each day. Watch God work. Whether it’s unbreaking your heart, unclouding your mind, or unlocking memories, remember you are in control of it all. And as always, prayer works!

Me and my babies Brittney 2 1/2 and Trey 1 1/2.

3 thoughts on “Unlocking Memories”

  1. Thats crazy! I also began to have seizures around 1998-99, when I was 19 or 20. Epilepsy has radically changed my life. Some memories are just gone from my youth. And even though now I only have a few seizures a year (which is a blessing), I have learned to be honest about it, maintain hope about my future, and just enjoy life.


    1. That’s such a coincidence! Odd thing to have in common, but it’s good to know you’re not alone. Before beginning this blog last year, the only people I ever told about my seizures were my family. But people are brought into your life for a reason. I ran into an old high school crush and he turned out to be degrading, to say the least, I learned a few things from him. One of which I needed to be using this gift God gave me to write. So @vfurrmstheblogger was born.

      Liked by 1 person

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