I talked with another blogger this morning @Jasons-Journal.com about the difficulties of finding love. His blog posts concerning the subject got me to thinking. I haven’t updated my Single Black Female series in a while. If you follow my blog, you know, one I’ve been unlucky in love and, two, I have not really had the time due to fulfilling my life long dream of acting in my first stage play.
I believe God brings people and situations into your life for a reason. Each serves a purpose. Because this play is the eighth in Shawna Moore’s ministry, I went into it believing I would be blessed beyond measure and maybe find love. Well, I made no friends, but family. And I found myself attracted to someone but I’m not putting my hands on it. Whatever is to be for me will be.
In the past, every time I fall for someone, it never fails, that several others begin to bide for my attention. And every time, I usually chose the wrong one. I am doing things differently this time in hopes of different results. This time, I’m taking my hands off it and allowing God to move. No, I’m not dating several men at one time. Actually, I’m not dating anyone. I am just continuing to work on things I need to accomplish for myself. If love comes, it comes. I’ve learned my lesson about seeking it out!
Men don’t understand what we go through as single women, not to mention us, single-divorced with children”, women. Most men do not talk about their feelings so we spend the first few months peeling back facades, sifting through possible lies, looking for red flags, basically rummaging through the bullshyt. Then, when we finally see the real him, possibly, a whole three whole months later, we’ve most likely wasted our time.
Therefore, as for me, I wasn’t one to introduce my kids to just anyone. I had to be in a long-term relationship. Being that I’m a relationship girl, its harder for me because I’m a Christian, I don’t do casual dating, one night stands, dating sites, or friends with benefits.
I still believe there are good men out there, despite those I’ve met who pose as single/available when they’re actually either married/in a relationship, or are extremely immature, emotionally detached, mentally damaged, and the list goes on. After my talk with @jason’s-journey, I understand that single decent good men like him are faced with the same issues with single women. I hadn’t realized that dating pitfalls work both ways that much.
So what do we do as good Christan, loving, caring, kind, singles, available in every way, looking for love in a world where love doesn’t seem to be valued as much? Marriage seems to be a dying art. Some of our parents, grandparents and great grandparents had marriages that lasted a lifetime. It appears there are fewer looking for that type of forever with someone.
But I still believe in love, in soul mates, in the beauty of seeing forever with someone. I feel blessed to have been completely in love more than once, so I suppose I’m just a hopeless romantic. I know I won’t be single forever because I am steadfast in my prayers to be blessed with my happily ever after. I deserve it! I’m speaking it into existence! God is good!
PS. During your search for love, hang in there and try to always remember the words below from Dr. Maya Angelou…