My entire life, I never longed to be rich, gorgeous, or popular…the only thing I wanted was to feel safe.
No amount of riches measured up to safety. The type of safe where the walls are so high no one dared to climb them and so thick they were impenetrable.
The kind of safe that kept me protected and untouched as the world went on around me and as I maneuvered around it.
I forever crave security because as a forgotten child, I was overprotected, and unnoticed from a mile away in every direction
Still, I wanted to hide constantly and longed to be seen always but not for who I was forced to be but for who I truly was.
I felt like it was my cue, SHOWTIME! Is this mic on?
In all the protective embrace I received, I remained afraid to breathe, to grow, to move, to step outside my comfort zone.
So now I’m grown, I’ve raised mine through the fear which plagued me. I protected them.
Made sure they wanted for nothing. I wanted them to have and experience all the things I did not.
I thought for years I kept them safe from harm, hurt, fear, pain when they weren’t safe at all; I wasn’t safe at all
They are full of hurt places, holes as adults that Momma cannot fill. I see their struggle and can’t breathe.
It’s on me! They’re unsafe within their sense of security.
Perhaps they will be blessed with the safety that protects because there is no safety in numbers.
@vfurrmstheblogger
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Published by vfurrmstheblogger
I was born in Tucson, Arizona, the baby of six children. I remember sounding out and spelling big words before the second grade. Words have always fascinated me. I began writing poetry as a child. I have very few accolades but nevertheless, I am proud of my writing and of them. I had one published poem when I was eight years old in the Phoenix Gazette, one published in 2003 in a poetry theology and I won a trophy and Poetry.com's (LuLu's now) 2005 Poet of the year. I have composed 100s of pieces of poetry growing up, most of which were lost. The poetry I am compiling now was written in my adult life.
I write as a way to free my mind and attempt to stir emotion and thought in others. Although I am devoting all my time now to writing now, I'm an orthopedic nurse (LPN) by trade, the owner of a small crochet business and I aspire to be a makeup artist.
I began this site as a launch to my upcoming books My Poetic Life (memoirs of love) and Fibromyalgia: Behind the Walls of Silence but it has taken on a life of its own. I hope those who come across my page will enjoy reading everything I speak on in my blogs and poetry. My hope is to reach the hearts of readers to inspire, shed light, advise, and spread love.
#poetry #mypoeticlifebook #mypoeticlife(the book) #lifeofapoet #provokingthought #poems #bookofpoetry #bookofpoems
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My Poetic Life (the book) 