2020 Revision to my Vision Board

I was reminded by my daughter the other night as we sat eating at Zaxbys that I needed to update my vision board for the new year. I was glad she asked if I had one because I don’t think she reads my blog posts often. I was able to pull up my post from 2019 and I did it quit proudly.

My daughter is a naturalist who is into astrology, crystals and stones, and of course like her momma, she loves the Lord. That night I got so much by hearing her speak about energy and peace and soon realized that mommas little girl was now this beautiful grown woman full of more love and light than I ever thought possible.

So this year’s vision board includes appreciating my ancestors and sprituality, and manifesting positivity and self actualization to improve my quality of life, among other things. As I learn more it will only add more peace to my life.

Of the goals on my 2019 vision board I accomplished, repairing my credit as I increased my score over 125 points, I broke through and conquered one of my biggest fears, social phobia, by performing on stage. Sometimes our journey takes detours. The third goal was that I am watching my granddaughter grow up. I didn’t have to move. They came home. I’m elated.

Finally, I have kept my weight off. I have not kept it under 145 all the time, but when I go past that 10 pound wiggle room I go e myself, up to 155 lbs, I begin to feel uncomfortable and I lose the weight. Fifth, two of right of my short term goals included completing the two books that this blog was created to launch. Instead, I was guided to write a fiction entitled New Heights. Life’s journeys often takes detours.

For 2020, I have so many irons in the fire already that my vision board is filling up. I’m editing New Heights for publication and I’ve begun my Fibromyalgia biography. I am also creating a website for a wonderful woodworking artist out of Ghana. I am acting in my third play this February with Mor-Shy Productions entitled “Stop the Noise” concerning bullying in our schools. I am applying for scholarships so that I can complete my BA in Healthcare Management as well. Plus, I am pursuing a more peaceful state of mind.

Those are just a few things that will be occupying my time in early 2020. Later this week, I am completing a visual vision board with time restraints and pictures so I have a clear picture of what this year will bring for me personally. Everything else my life is blessed with will just add to the joy. Oh, I forgot I’m going into business as a travel agent too!!

After being diagnosed 24 years ago with Fibromyalgia, it spiraled my life out of control. I stopped living for so long; for many, many years. I wasn’t strong enough back then to see that I was in control all the time, not the disease. I could have changed the direction of my life had I only looked beyond my circumstances. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but I now know it’s possible.

Sometimes we go through things that breaks us down only to make us stronger. My life is a testament to that adage. I’m better for the lessons I’ve learned by getting through it all. My 2020 vision board is my reality and next will be an update to my Victory list. I haven’t gotten to Italy yet but I see it in my future. Baby steps. It’s all about baby steps.

Much love, thanks for listening, vfurrmstheblogger

#revisiontomyvisionboard #2020visionboard #completinggoals #gettingoutmybox #babysteps

New Year, New Me? Why?

You have to live through who you weren’t to find who you are… –Jada Pinkett Smith

New year, new me? That has to be the most used cliche during the beginning of each new year. I’m guilty of saying it myself. But this year, on 2020’s second day, starting a new decade, I have no desire to be new. I’m 46 years old and completely transparent. I recall living through more heartbreak and pain than most people I know because I chose to stay there in it and hide it.

Sometimes we let our dysfunction, suffering, disability, or problems overshadow who we are instead of seeing them as obstacles to conquer. I used to live in a dysfunctional world that ultimately became my identity. How do you climb from under the weight of it all to become who you were meant to be?

Loss, divorce, anxiety, social phobia, depression, suicide attempts, the death of dreams, the demise of my livelihood, years of stagnation, guilt, blame, shame; you name it, I’ve felt it. But it was as if I had blinders on and could only see the darkness behind my closed eyes.  BUT! I believe that everything we go through in life is for a reason.

I didn’t realize until the last three or four years of my life that I was not my pain. I was giving life to and breathing life into my pain, hurt, and brokenness. How in all that’s good could I find peace, hope, love, and God with my eyes wide shut, thinking I’m living, but actually merely existing.

The turning point for me was my 40th birthday. It was nothing but God who allowed me to see myself for the first time. I realized I was still emotionally stuck at 28 years old when I got divorced. The year I felt the most free from the betrayal, hopelessness, loss of my identity. I had moved on. I had gotten over it. I became better. I even allowed myself to grow. BUT, I shut off my ability to love.

Twelve years later, I had an epiphany that’s best described in this quote, “You have to live through who you weren’t to find who you are”… Jada Pinkett Smith.

When I opened my eyes, there was no darkness. I realized I had been picking up those old pieces of my life over and over again for years, thinking, if I could just rebuild my heart, I could rebuild my old life. But God showed me that I could merely start over from scratch. Not make a new me but, use all the parts I already had to mold into an unbroken, happy, smart, funny, kind, creative, etc., me.

I’ve changed and evolved after I rose above all that hurt and pain. I look forward to another amazing year digging deep, creating and revamping my world. Sometimes growth takes being the one looking from the outside in. I’m stronger for it, freer, happier, and more importantly reaching and achieving my goals through the grace of God.

vfurrmstheblogger

#newyearnewmewhy #JadaPinkettSmith #nonewyouthisyear #changeandevolve #myturningpointat40 #makegreatchanges