Struggling

Oh Wow! I had no idea it was going on two weeks since my last post. I have been wiped out since performing in the last play on Feb. 22nd. That’s the thing about Fibromyalgia that is the worst. Even if you get to do what you love, you end up paying for it as you witness your body betray you. I’m not complaining, but simply stating the facts. Those who thankfully don’t suffer from this, don’t understand that.

Right now, I’m exhausted. So much has been happening in my life that triggers stress, which triggers pain, which triggers fatigue. There’s no way around it. Fibromyalgia is difficult because nothing really makes it better for me. With the Opioid crisis in America, no doctors really want to hand out pain medicine for prolonged periods of time. And if you are anything like me, as a patient, you don’t want to take opioids for a long time.

With so much stress, it’s difficult to sleep. Even if I sleep, I’m not getting restorative sleep. I need to find something non-habitforming that will allow me to sleep soundly enough so my body and mind can reset themselves for the next day. I was told by one of my doctor’s that not getting restorative sleep causes you to lose memories because your brain is constantly trying to play catch-up. This is why on a Thursday evening, you may find yourself thinking it’s Tuesday. You are literally losing whole days of memory.

I take Ibuprofen 800mg for pain twice a day. I’ve weaned myself from the morphine sulfate my pain specialist had me on. I think without something to decrease inflammation, the morphine can’t possibly stop the pain. So I’ll have to wait until I can make my appointments regularly, (have transportation), before I can get back to finding something that works with him.

Sometimes I wake up from dreams in the mornings and don’t remember them until later that night when they come to me in flashes like tonight. This is from not getting enough sleep. So tonight, I’m putting down the phone, laptop, and tuning out Facebook and Instagram to get some much deserved rest. I haven’t quite figured out how to overcome insomnia, but with this rain falling right now, the cool air from my fan, and the quietness in my house, hopefully, it will evade me tonight. I know one thing, I’m tired and my tired is tired.

I have a lot to do tomorrow and many to take care of, so good night all, sleep tight, and if you believe in the power of prayer, whisper one for me.

#vfurrmstheblogger #struggling #powerofprayer #insomnia #restorativesleep #fibromyalgia

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