By: Valerie Furr Collins
I believe we all have our own idea of what is love. I think we get it from our childhood or how we saw our parents, family, or friends love one another. As a child, I watched mother go through so much and she was still strong enough to stay in her marriage. I learned that loved bred strength and staying power, regardless of how you were treated. My parents stayed together after a brief separation even though they were legally divorced. I learned that marriage was supposed to be forever. Like my mom, some people stay in a marriage for the sake of the kids. I did that until my hurt trickled down on them. Then there’s trying to make up for your one mistake verses their 100. So basically, I thought it was my job to be the perfect wife/mother, stay, and forgive, forgive, forgive. I am just being honest.
I see now that how some people love can be a lesson on how not to love. Love is supposed to be effortless, and not hurt 100% of the time. You should never have to beg for their attention or passion. If a person loves you or wants to get to know you, they will make time for you. Be strong enough to stay when things get tough but strong enough to walk away from an abusive partner. By all means, put yourself first! If you are not healthy mentally and physically, how can you be there for anyone else. Sometimes love is taken for granted, marriages don’t work, people cheat, and hearts get broken. But that’s OK. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
We often say, if I was then, the woman I am now, or if I knew then what I know now, but I believe everything happens for a reason. We are supposed to go through losses in love. If we didn’t, how would we ever know when true love finds us. I heard on a movie tonight, basically, if you believe you love someone, don’t waste time. Go get that person, because when God calls them home, no matter how many years you get together, it will never be enough. You will always long for more time with your love. So, I say open your heart, let your guard down, let go of past relationships and hurt, forget how your parents loved, forgive your mistakes, and simply step out on faith.
Ask him or her out on a date. The worse that could happen is that they say no. But you will never know unless you try. You won’t ever be able to get to know someone hidden behind those walls you’ve built. She or he had no part in handing you those bricks. So, stop giving people/person who weren’t the One power over you,. Put that load down, come out of the shadows, and show the real you. Give love a chance.
I wish we all find true unbreakable love,
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